Just had to point this out to everyone. I am far from a Lou Dobbs fan, and his recent posts on CNN.com, an otherwise occasionally reputable news site, would fit more appropriately on Jerry's erstwhile "rants" page. Dobbs has gone crazy, clearly, but he has hit the nail on the head here:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/06/dobbs.june7/index.html
Bringing up a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage when you know it is going to fail, and in light of all the other problems we face right now, is astounding. I honestly believe that most people (liberal and conservative) will see this for what it is.
Incidentally, this is not the first time Congress has taken up stupid issues and earned my ire as a result. I guess some things never change.
Have you ever noticed . . . ?
As some or all of you may know, my friend J.L. (from law school) is a budding stand-up comic; he work's in the Bronx DA's office during the day, an moonlights as a stand-up comic in the evenings, when he can book a gig. Last night he was booked for a 9:00 p.m. show at Stand Up NY, on 78th and Broadway. The way these things work is that when you are booked to perform, you are expected to bring a certain number of guests (i.e. 6, 8 or 10 people make a reservation, pay the cover, and buy two drinks on account of a particular performer). Given the need for audience members, Meaghan and I try and go support J.L. whenever we can. The cover charge last night was $12, with a two drink minimum (I had five, but who's counting).
An additional requirement at past shows has been that you arrive about 30 minutes early. This is to get everyone seated and served before the show starts. Feeling particularly punctual last night, I showed up right at 8:30, with Jimmy (another friend from law school), and Meg met us a few minutes later. We were, literally, the first people there and were therefore sat right at the front. Meg could sit her drink on the stage, and any one of us could have reached out and tapped any of the comics on the leg. This is important for the story just so you understand how close we were to the performers.
Shortly after 9:00p a guy came on stage to MC, and did about 5-10 minutes of average jokes. Nothing great. He brought up the first comic, some guy from NJ, and he was quite good. Lots of NYC jokes, Jersey jokes, and just overall a good time. He performed for about 10 minutes.
When NJ comic guy was done, the host came back up and did about 2 more minutes of lame audience-interaction type stuff, but nothing too extraordinary. He then starts to introduce the next comedian, and says, in a very deadpan, nonchalant manner, "you may have seen our next comedian on tv's Seinfeld, or perhaps in the movie Comedian," (pause) -- at this point, I am racking my brain for C-list guys that have been on Seinfeld before . . . maybe it's Mickey the midget, or maybe it's Jackie the lawyer, etc. . . . but then the host goes, still in this very nonchalant fashion, "Ladies and gentlemen please give a warm welcome to Mr. Jerry Seinfeld."
I turn around, and here comes Jerry Seinfeld walking up to the stage. The place went absolutely nuts. I went nuts. I think we were in shock. There couldn't have been more than 40 people there, max, but it sounded like 440. We were sitting within two or three feet of him, and he proceeded to do a 20-25 minute set, all new stuff (or at least nothing I had ever heard before). He absolutely killed (that's industry talk for "he was very funny").
He didn’t interact with the audience too much (other than to rip on one guy who tried to make a joke from the show about Del Boca Vista), but just did an array of Seinfeld-esque humor. It was literally like sitting in the audience from the opening of the show . . . absolutely amazing. I won't even try to recount any of his jokes in writing here . . . he did a bit about being a parent, what it's like to be a dad, a long thing about trash and how everything is, eventually, destined to be trash, etc. Like I say, I'm not going to try and re-tell the jokes, but they were very, very funny. The place went nuts again when he left . . . and the rest of the evening, while actually a pretty good lineup, of course paled in comparison to his performance.
In short, I had front row seats to a live Jerry Seinfeld show for $12. Sweet.
just a little somethin' to break the monotony of all that hardcore dance that has gotten to be Alito bit out of control . . .
I'm as liberal as they come (well, no I'm not), or at least lean left on a number of issues, but the Democratic-led attack on the efforts to confirm Sam Alito's nomination to the Supreme Court, half-hearted though they may be, are laughable. Two notes on this, followed by my thoughts:
1. Chuck Schumer once called the American Bar Association the "gold standard" for the evaluation of Supreme Court nominees. Subsequently, on Meet the Press, when Russert pointed out that the ABA had ranked Alito as "highly-qualified" to be on the Supreme Court, or something to that effect, Schumer waffled with some bullshit about, well, yes, the ABA is the gold-standard for two of the three qualifications, but there is this third qualification, and they weren't talking about that when they called him "highly-qualified." Come on.
2. Dick Durbin, in a shameful attempt to tie the wholly unrelated Sago Mine tragedy to the confirmation hearing, has raised questions about Alito's preference for bis business vis-a-vis safety standards. "Even in the area of mine safety, he has ruled in cases in favor of companies and against the workers when it comes to safety and similar issues that were brought before his court. I want to make certain that he comes to the Supreme Court with an open mind," Durbin said.
There is more nonsense, but the bottom line is that the Democrats would question the ability of Thomas Jefferson to interpret the Constitution if Bush had nominated him. I assume no one disagrees with that, so the question becomes whether or not this is appropriate. What is the Senate's "advice and consent" role with respect to Supreme Court nominees? In my mind, it is to make sure the President appoints a competent individual who will faithfully uphold the law. The job is to keep out the Harriet Miers of the world, who were plainly unqualified, and let in the Thurgood Marshalls and the Antonin Scalias. Both are/were mad smart, albeit at polar opposites of the political spectrum. Reasonable people can and do differ over abortion, executive authority, etc. You can't filibuster a nominee just because the conservative president selected a guy with a conservative track record. As John McCain said, elections have consequences.
It is impossible to challenge Alito's qualification, so the Democrats have taken to outcome-determinative questions, and when he (rightly, to avoid a forced recusal) declines to answer as fully as the would like, they call foul. It's ridiculous, and it just sets the stage for the Republicans to do it to our guy at some point down the road.
As far as I am concerned, the advice and consent function should be limited to keeping out people who are intellectually unqualified, and who are radically extreme (don't give me that about Scalia, he isn't radically extreme any more than Stevens or Marshall, you just disagree w/him). The Senate's gate-keeping role at the Supreme Court should be limited to keeping out David Duke, Louis Farrakhan, and that guy who got trapped in the Sago Mine. Other selections of the President, provided they are not extremists in the true sense of the word, or intellectually unqualified, ought to be confirmed.
Jerry stole this from Joe, and I am stealing it from Jerry:
1. My uncle once: drove all the way to Maine to give a graduation gift to me, and to my girlfriend who he had never met. I thought that was pretty cool.
2. Never in my life: have I been happy to let someone else get the last word.
3. When I was five: I had already been friends with Luke for two years, and Chris for five.
4. High School is: better with girls.
5. My parents are: creatures of habit.
6. I once met: a stranger on an Amtrak train and we drank an entire handle of Captain Morgan's together. His name was Hector, and Meaghan was not amused.
7. There's this girl I know who: stopped eating meat for years because Oprah told her to.
8. Once, at a bar: I ordered a beer, drank it quietly, paid my tab, and left.
9. Last night: I left the office before 6:00 p.m. for the first time in months, and walked home due to the subway strike. If it had been about 10 degrees warmer, this would have been the most enjoyable evening I have had in a while. I am going to start walking to and from work much more often. It takes about 45 minutes, so if you walk at a good clip it can be good exercise, and it's a great way to get geared up for the day, or let your brain unwind from a long day.
10. Next time I go to church: the Giants might be NFC East champs, and I might be a little drunk.
11. When I turn my head left, I see: the entrance to my office.
12. When I turn my head right, I see: that building with the slanted roof, and I can never remember its name.
13. How many days until my birthday? 189.
14. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: the reason he made it big.
15. By this time next year: I'll be married, and I am very excited about it.
16. A better name for me would be: hard to come by.
17. I have a hard time understanding: why the leadership of the MTA seems so insulated from political retribution for years of mismanagement. Can't we just vote them out of the office? Chris summed up my hatred of the MTA quite well a while back. Let's get these guys out. (Side note: I still think the union is wrong on the strike, and the amount that the MTA had put on the table should have been enough to keep them talking, rather than serve as grounds for a strike).
18. If I ever go back to school I: will get an MBA. Law firms are fine, but even the highest ranking lawyer still answers to the client. I think the leaders of mid- to large-cap corporations have the most exciting jobs, because, for better or worse, you make the ultimate decisions on everything.
19. You know I like you if: you think I am being mean to you; it's b/c I've let my guard down, and I am willing to give you my honest opinion in the hopes that you'll give me yours.
20. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: Meaghan.
21. Take my advice: Arrested Development is the funniest show on television.
22. My ideal breakfast is: eaten in Teaneck with my whole family there.
23. If you visit my hometown: you'll be in Teaneck, NJ. Be sure and check out Bischoff's Ice Cream (sorry Chuck, but this was my answer too) while you are there.
24. Why won't someone: other than Howard Stern and Frank Rich stand up to the FCC.
25. If you spend the night at my house: don't spill anything on the white couch or Meg will kick your ass.
26. I'd stop my wedding: if Meg wasn't there.
27. The world could do without: Bill O'Reilly, Mike Francesa, Tucker Carlson, and anyone else who takes a controversial position publicly nots because it's what they believe, but because it is to their financial benefit to do so. The problem is, the controversy they stir up really affects people (ok, not Francesa, but the other two), who seem to think that the controversy is real, and not just made up to provide theater.
28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: . . . this one is weird.
29. Paper clips are more useful than: those corny little plastic v-shaped paper clips, that max out at a capacity of about three pages.
30. If I do anything well, it is: negotiate a bargain.
31. And by the way: now that I've got a little bit more than none, I've learned that money buys convenience, and little else.
Arrested Development
Fox is trying to cancel the funniest show on television. I was thinking about registering this site this morning, but someone else beat me to the punch.
Stay tuned . . .
Rich against Bush
I have been struggling to collect and organize my thoughts regarding the federal response to Hurricane Katrina over the past week or so, and found myself getting more and more frustrated at my inability to do so in a coherent and comprehensive fashion.
Thankfully, now I don't need to because Frank Rich has done it for me.
Anyone who is not reading Rich's column in the New York Times every Sunday is missing out. Week in and week out he does a fantastic job of shining a spotlight on the failings of the current administration. I really have nothing more to add to what he has written, other than to repeat one of the quotes from the article, as it sums up what I suspect most dispirited Americans are feeling about politics at the moment:
What comes next? Having turned the page on Mr. Bush, the country hungers for a vision that is something other than either liberal boilerplate or Rovian stagecraft. At this point, merely plain old competence, integrity and heart might do.
Amen.
Under Pressure
So we are approaching the four month anniversary of my last post, and I figured I had better write something soon or else my account might deactivate or some shit like that.
First of all, to those of you who crap on me for not writing more often, F off (I love that expression . . . I think it is actually more forceful than the otherwise crass "fuck off"). Just be thankful that you have a job and a lifestyle that permits you to jot down your personal thoughts and inane observations on an almost daily basis.
Just kidding (sort of); I appreciate that people want to read each other's random thoughts, and I do try to check everyone else's blog occasionally (it takes exponentially more time to post on one's own blog than to scan a few other people's blogs). A stretch of being very busy at work kept me from writing, but, in fairness, I also just sort of let it slide.
All that out of the way, the other reason I don't write very often is because I don't have too much to say. Before the Mets season started I wrote about them a lot, but now that they have become a constant source of humiliation for me, I really don't want to talk about them. Provided the G-Men continue to play well, I guess I could write more about them. Perhaps I will do so.
I could write about politics, but, much like the Mets, the current climate in politics nauseates me. I've always believe that, notwithstanding significant disagreements with this administration on policy, there were at least competent people running the show. Now I don't even believe that. I mean, Mike Browne, are you fucking kidding me? The guy spent six weeks as an intern for disaster relief for some volunteer fire department in West Bumblefuck Oklahoma and now he runs FEMA? All because Bush used to do blow with a friend of his? Jesus. Who's running the treasury? Some crackhead who used to shine Bush Sr.'s shoes? Are we going to wake up one morning to find out that America is broke because the crackhead went on a binge and spent all the money in the joint checking account? Are we? Seriously, it should scare the shit out of you that the guy running the FEDERAL EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT AGENCY is a moron, and got his job as a favor. Any chance we might have a FEDERAL EMERGENCY that needs to be MANAGED? Hmmm?
So, you know, politics is out.
What else . . . . arbitrary updates from my life? People seem to like that:
1. Meaghan and I just moved in together. Our landlord (who we have not met, only corresponded with via phone and email) is Carol Potter, who starred on TV's Beverly Hills 90210 as Cindy Walsh.
Ian Ziering does the gutters.
2. IKEA is amazing, and will certainly report increased profits this quarter on me alone.
3. I am just short of my one-year anniversary at work. I still don't know what the fuck I am doing most of the time, but, all in all, I must admit that this first year has not been too bad.
I guess I could also write about other non-political current events. One thing comes to mind, probably because it touches the area of law in which I practice. Delta and Northwest filed for bankruptcy protection yesterday, within 30 minutes of each other, and they say it was a total coincidence. That is some bullshit. Filing for bankruptcy is not liking stopping in at the bank, or dropping off some shit at the cleaners. Delta didn't just stroll down to the Bankruptcy Court to file, and bump in to Northwest, "hey, Delta, how are you?" "Good, good, just filing for bankruptcy protection and seeking hundreds of millions of dollars in emergency financing." "Yeah, yeah, so are we, so are we." "Well, see you later."
Bull.
Everyone and their mom knew that Delta was going to file, and Northwest was MAD dl about the whole thing. I guarantee you they had all their shit ready to go a week ago, and were just waiting to push the button once Delta filed.
Incidentally, not a bad strategy, since now they only get half the press for filing for bankruptcy, when they would have gotten all of it by going first, or waiting a few more months.
Well, those are my random thoughts for the day. I'll try to write a bit more often, and a bit more coherently, for the rest of the year.
